Journeys through Asia: Wedding!!! (mainland style)

I feel incredibly privileged to go to my first (and probably last) Mainland wedding. Bingo’s elder brother recently got married and we were able to garner an invitation. A wedding is probably one of the most specifically culturalized events. There are so many traditions of weddings that are so specific to one’s ethnic background. For Filipinos, a Catholic ceremony is a must and the wedding reception is a very lively gathering filled with lots of music and dancing. On the other hand, I would say most of the Chinese America weddings I have attended have not been the typical Chinese banquet style, but more like the western style, Christian wedding. I’ve been to weddings in America, the Philippines and Hong Kong, but I’ve never experienced anything quite like Bingo’s brother’s wedding.

The wedding was incredibly intimate because it was held at the wife’s home. This was actually the second banquet they had because the prior weekend they had a hotel wedding hosted by Bingo’s family. I’m actually very glad that we were able attend the village wedding and be so warmly welcomed into the home of the bride. The location of the home was about 1 hour from Hangzhou, a major tourist city in China. The city was called Haiyan, which has a very suburbia vibe to it with large expansive streets , big green lawns and cookie cutter homes. Their home was not in the suburb portion but more on the outskirts in the rural parts. You drive through the farmlands for about 20 minutes before you turn into a dirt road which leads to their village. Most of the homes seemed to be of lower to middle class standards, with concrete exteriors and barred windows.

The house of the bride was two stories. The first story was where the reception was held. They had rented tables and chairs for the event. The kitchen was not in the main building but was in a covered portion of the yard. When we first came to the house we were in awe of how many people were working in the yard to prepare the meals. They had hired a staff of 15 cooks. These were not your normal caterers in crisp white aprons common to any American catering company, but they looked like a haphazard group of villagers who came together this one weekend to cook. Nonetheless it did not take away from the quality nor the quantity of the food. All the meals were freshly prepared at their home. They had chickens that were just killed and the staff was defeathering them that very morning. There were also all sorts of animals on the menu that I’ve never seen prepared before nor ever eaten – turtles, garter snakes, frogs, etc. All of this food was being prepared outside under the bright blue sky on makeshift stoves (very picnic/bbq style), which definitely added to the very rural nature of the wedding.

the cooks for the wedding; who needs a kitchen in china?

Huge woks of food made in the outdoor kitchen

View from the balcony of the home

In addition the wedding was very intimate. With only 6 tables of 10 that fit onto the first floor, there definitely was not that lost in the crowd feel that you often get at most weddings. I’ve been to weddings of more than 400 people and sometimes you see the couple for only a few minutes. Often times, you don’t even have the opportunity to talk with the couple at all. I feel that many American weddings are filled with half guests of the bride and groom and the other half are random guests of the parents that the couple has never even met. With such a small wedding in the village, I truly felt special and honored to be a guest, instead of just a random person in the masses of guests. During the wedding, we felt the hospitality of the couple and their family as they poured drinks for all the guests. They made sure our cups were always overflowing. This is a common tradition in mainland China, but would only be possible in such an intimate wedding.

My cutest girl at the wedding seems intrigued/confused

now she gets it...we are taking pictures.

These chairs are not made for American butts

How can you have a wedding with out the couple stuffed animals

As for the actual ceremony, there wasn’t actually much to it. There wasn’t the normal tea ceremony or kowtowing to parents that I’ve seen at other traditional Chinese wedding. What struck me the most from the wedding was the influence of the People’s Liberation Army. One common Mainland tradition was hiring a band to play during the ceremony. This is your typical wedding band that plays covers of classic billboard hits. This was a marching band, complete with horns and drums, that played patriotic songs. The band was dressed in PLA costumes. With their music playing throughout the reception, it made the event seem incredibly tied to the community party and Mao. Another interesting tradition is that the band leads the car caravan from the bride’s new house back to her old house. Throughout the 30 minute ride to the house, the band continued to play their music from the back of an open van. If you didn’t know you were at a wedding, this type of music would be very appropriate for a political rally.

The wedding band

Smoke it up and play it up at the same time!

He's not a fan of the music

Bingo with his brother, who totally looks Korean

In typical Chinese style, I would say the bulk of the wedding was focused on food and eating. There were two separate meals served – lunch AND dinner. At both meals, there were 28 dishes served per table, which was an amazing amount of food for only 10 people. Tat and I were guessing that the food for the entire wedding probably cost less than one table at a typical Chinese banquet in America. I’ve been to a number of Chinese weddings, but there were some very distinct traditions that were unique to mainland. The intimacy of a home wedding with the PLA marching band gave us an inside look into the culture of Mainland China.